Dear God

I feel like an idiot.
Maybe this is the consequence that I've always preached about.
Now it is happening to me.
Mistakes that just keep piling up will one day fall on you and engulf you and drown you.
No matter how much you struggle to swim to the surface, you will never reach it.
You can only stare at the glimmering surface under the pale moon light hoping that someone will stretch out that hand to save you.
Light distorts and your consciousness leaves you.
Your life fades before your eyes, your memories running like an old motion film flashing frame by frame until it finally dies out into pitch black darkness.
I have never regretted whatever i've done but this time i really wish i could turn back time and relive my life and change my choices.
But its all too late. all too late.
I hope a miracle happens.
i really do.
Dear God.
Please help me.
Help me make the right decisions again.
Light my path with Your lamp.
Take my right hand and guide me as i walk this path alone.
I will not falter I will not stumble.
I will pick myself up from where I've fallen.
This time I will stay close to You.