Sunday, October 28, 2007

sadness overwhelms me

"As some of you may have already heard, our dear friend and council mate David, has passed away peacefully this morning at 7.15am, of colon cancer. He was diagnosed earlier this year, and had been bravely fighting the cancer for the past months.
May we remember him for his wonderful kindness and honesty, and for his courage and tenacity in his journey."

This was the email that i recieved on friday. i have nothing but pure shock at how fast life can be drained out of person. At his memorial on saturday when i saw the lifeless corpse of a friend and a christian brother whom i can remember fondly for his jovial personality and his tenacity and passion for the students' council and his love for God.. a swept of overwhelming sadness just took over me.. it made me re-think about my priorities in life. what if i had only 1 hr of my life left? who would i spend it with? what would i do? At the end of the service, i prayed for his family and asked God to relieve the pain in the hearts of his loved ones and relatives. i guess this is the only minimum i could do.

and when i thought the worse was over. It happened during dinner. I received a call from char who then told me that my hamster duabui died. that its body was hard and cold despite repeated poking with the scissors and it only rolled around the bottom of the cage like a dead animal specimen. all the times i spent with it and feeding it just flashed across my eyes. although it was a hassle changing the bedding and cleaning the cage but i enjoyed doing it. What really shocked me was that saturday when i last saw it. duabui was still perfectly fine. i couldn't understand why it just died over the weekend. i didn't manage to even play with it one last time.
life is really damn fragile. i am damn afraid at how people and things around me disappear like that. In a blink of an eye

I have only this gut wrenching feeling in my chest now. i feel like crying but no tears.

i think i will have to buy another hamster for my sister. =(

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