SU 15 no more

i guess when someday i read back this entry i will still feel damn sian diao.
i am not a GL anymore. i have always tot that it would not happen to me. but it happened.
talking to pple jus made me feel more regretful about my actions. Stupid me.

phyllis and sk still say going to treat me meal. but wat i would really wan is for them not to forget abt me. i jus have that sick feeling when SU 15 comes closer and with all the GL bonding and gatherings. people will forget or even remember that I was once a GL. the feeling of being cut off from the sports club family is just overwhelming, all the experiences in SU 13 and SU14, going thru the finale as a freshie and GL, going thru sports camp leading and being lead, practicing for world performance, making photoframes, calling freshies, no more cheering. all this has prematurely ended for me.

i remember wat ashley once said. when u are just standing at the grandstand watching sports camp happening. sure u can just be around as a laojiao and come back to help out. but its just so damn different from being in sports camp itself. Now i finally understood wat he said. and it jus sux that i have to experience it first hand.

people tell me that u can come back again in year 3. still got one more year. but jus to think abt it why would the next camp chair choose me when i wasn't a GL the previous year? fark. sure u can come back to help out as sub comm and stuff. but i guess things will be different. it will just be different. other GLs will be different.

i really wan to thank all the wonderful frens that i have made, thank you for Skylla, Shebec, SeaWorld, Phyllis my only Best Co and the experiences that was given to me by Sports camp. i know i have been a jerk or an idiot at times but i really did hope that for the past year i have brought more smiles than frowns to Sports club.
i just hope i can move on.